Rights, Freedom, and Declaration of the (Un)gun

I like to keep my ear to the grindstone, and with that listening, I keep hearing and seeing this debate about gun issues and the second amendment.  As statistics are thrown around, the mental health of U.S. citizens is being flocked or paraded around as a trophy of piety or neglected; those who are hurting are hurting others, and those who hurt others do not care.  I cannot help but ask, is there a responsibility of the self, of possessions, of our own cultural influence anymore?

For the sake of argument, I am placing the second Amendment on here and then say my peace about it. I am curious though, in all seriousness, to those who are for disarming citizens, have you ever read this amendment and looked closer at it?

Amendment II. 

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

In the time when some of those who lived in the continental states were hashing it out with mother country England (some did not want to break away from it as well), there was the issue of, while under the authority of England, they were being forced to disarm themselves so they were not a threat to the British military. When the writing of the Constitution was being debated, there was no formal military at that time such as it is now; the Militia then and the Military now, is made up of voluntary citizens. Now, the formal military is made up of voluntary citizens, yet the military is under the authority of the U.S. Government.

To disarm the citizens is to disarm the organization of protection of U.S. citizens in a time of insurgency and threats by enemies, both foreign and domestics.  It is unfortunate the government and those who are the majority of its members, who are placed into positions of power by the citizens, have continually neglected not just their promises, but also the position of responsibility and service to their constituents.

In the Declaration of Independence, it is said that the people have the right to “alter or to abolish” the government and reinstitute it in the way that protects their Safety and Happiness.  But what happens when the citizens are given what they want with no cost, education, and benefits at the will of others in power, and our basic human needs are left satiated and deprived by an assumed force?  Why are the statistics presented by the liberal side not questioned by those who want others to be disarmed?  Is the object of opposition upon inanimate objects, or the fear of what is perceived to be the inevitable?

Asking and willing to answer honestly these questions and others are the starting point for understanding the gun control debate.  Placing a focus on an issue that is not just highly debatable yet made up of more than gun issues and neglected facts that are already in place, is to misplace the history and protection of the People both then and now, is detracting from the framework that is being dismantled in America. What is and always has been placed squarely on the shoulders of those who are responsible to uphold the Constitution, and made alive by the Declaration, are the citizens of the United States of America.

So what are guns?  What is self-protection?  Rights and privileges are not the same things.  Privileges are given to us when certain criteria are met and can be taken away if the rules and boundaries of the privilege are broken.  Rights are embedded in us to preserve, watch out for and signals to our freedom the responsibility we have, not just as individuals but also as a community, a country.  Again, privileges can be revoked and taken.  Rights are fought for, but they can appear to be handed over by the People out of free will, or under duress and strain, they are told they cannot handle.  So how are they inalienable as the Declaration of Independence states?  Because they are innate within the individual and out of that, we the People realize again that freedom and we fight for that freedom the individual and community desire.

The Isolation Manifesto

Throughout the country there is a stay-at-home order, a limit of gatherings to 10, and a 6 feet rule. Although this mix of self-imposed and compulsory isolation is upon everyone, regardless of belief or identity we are in this together, and the importance of recovery and restoration are just as important. A principle decision in recovery and restoration is that we can either continue in the mind-set that is harmful or we might be afraid to question this mind-set. Regardless if the isolation is self-imposed or socially enforced, isolation is still an aspect of life we tend to avoid, regardless mental illness is present or not.

In isolation our minds can continue to turn up the dirt we try to bury or life choices we neglect. Maybe at some place we still blame others for our problems, or avoid the frightening idea about having some control over our lives, or coming to terms with perceived fashion of loss of control. If we take responsibility for both the lame malarkey that happen in our lives, and make the decisions to move in another direction, both of these steps can help us move toward something other than the same routine with the same choices.

Recovery in mental health and the effects of trauma, can be seen as a type of philosophy or discovering a unique “modus operandi.” During times where social isolation or self-imposed isolation, can still drive us into the same questions every human shares, and isolation can be a Present, leading us into learning more about ourselves and reaching out to others, instead of encapsulating ourselves with the belief of “being this particular way.” If you are tired of being told to just take your medications, go see the psychologist and counselor, avoid triggers, and be careful of the stigma,” then maybe this way is for you.

Regardless what we are taught about mental illness and our health, we have the power to challenge it, or what is possibly ailing us, by taking this time of isolation, or more or less time with family or work, and maybe we can see it as a stepping stone in recovery and restoration. Instead of blanketing the isolation and mental illness as something to tolerate until it is over or the possibility of relapse, maybe it can be a time to challenge ourselves, to grow, and maybe to learn to enjoy. I know that is something want to do, which is exactly why I am writing this.

We are more than just a stigma, a stereotype, or a perception of others. We can do good to others and ourselves, we can make the effort to know those parts we make the effort to isolate. To start, I’ll show my heart to you by answering three questions, and maybe you can inquire of yourself, or share your answers.

What is my perspective?
My perspective is vital to the way I live my life. I am sure yours is as well. It guides how I interact with the ones I love, the ones I want nothing to do with, and at times I have to protect it because it is how I view myself. It is not perfect or morally superior, (as a matter of fact no perspective truly is, no matter how loud or fair it sounds). One thing I do know and defend, is that a perspective can change.
Not a lot of people know this about me: I grew up isolated in a way that is rather unique, yet not in a special kind of way. I was born with the infamous and now most popular condition known as, Obstructive Sleep Apnea. It’s effects harmed my ability to connect with others on an emotional and social level. Along with my lack of breathing over 1,000 episodes at night, I am a survivor of CSA; no not just a survivor, but an individual who has had to learn that I can be a warrior to stand up for others, to stand against injustice, speak my voice to educate, and it has given me the ability to hear and listen to others on a deeper level.
Will there be people that might attack me because I wrote that last line? Of course. I guarantee it is because I identify as a male with my own body. Something by the way I am proud of because it means I have worked hard on dissolving disassociation, the power of the PTSD in my life.) But that is their perspective they have to deal with. Perspective does not always mean truth, it is a way that changes how we view life around us.

What is my question?
This question can lead us to be explore in isolation. I remember the way I was taught to be in a relationship, or even friends, is to give. Now, was I really taught this? Was it a coping mechanism I learned from myself or someone else? The particular question I have going on is, how much bitterness have I let go to be open to the possibility of being loved as I am? This question forces me to recognize that, it was not only myself that was hurt, yet how I could have hurt others out of my own pain and selfishness. But do they even remember, or am I holding onto the pain I aimed at others because of my pride? It is true in saying that, we can be so focused on what we have done to others, we didn’t know they moved on. And, if I know someone has something against me, who am I to negate their own healing and help them to recover and heal?

What is my isolation?
So it seems that my isolation is a mix of some-things: feelings, fears, an almost self-exclusion for whatever reason I can find, or justify my bitterness or hope in what I receive from others. Isolation can almost be seen as a type of fasting one places their complete soul within. What is it we need to separate ourselves from which may or may not be harming us? Do I need to rethink some information I have, or reinforce the belief that I am worth being loved as I am. And I am capable of speaking when I need to, and being there for others and myself as they need. Or maybe just Being. Just live instead of existing. Besides, there’s always a laugh out there waiting to be acted upon.

As I wrote earlier: If you are tired of being told to just take your medications, go see the psychologist and counselor, avoid triggers, and be careful of the stigma,” then maybe this way is for you. We are more than just a stigma, a stereotype, or a perception of others. What is your M.O.?

My Divine Question

Growing is difficult. There is no more difficult time than the present. Where future and past collide in depression and anxiety, where the chance of love and fear find their way in a weird type of hate/love relationship that expands into night’s of troubled sleep.

Last night I could not sleep until half way through my appointed schedule. Before sleeping, I felt death approach me in my chest, almost smelling its breath.

I always found it odd that in the times when I know something good can happen, when growth is good, the same challenges arise in front of me with each obstacle.  The fear of loss, not being good enough, saying the wrong words, let alone showing any sign of hope, edges me into a state of nonexistence.  

What ups the anty is the intermingling of sexual innuendos and loss of touch, challenging me to judge myself as not good enough.  Yet somehow, in some strange way, I am learning to no longer judge these as good or bad, yet disclosed and hidden. What is hidden shall be revealed. The lack of judgment brings me into the understanding that I am capable of loving myself. Thus bringing me into that divine question, revealing itself Monday, “Can you let go of the control over your loneliness, sorrow, and pain?” 


Silence, I once thought, was my enemy.

Slowly, my friend, it has become.

It is not judgmental towards our weaknesses, our strengths, even

the bad and good acts we do to ourselves and others.

It is there when I am rejected or accepted.

It is willing to help me understand my weaknesses and gives me

insight into my character.

Through abuse, neglect, and rejection,

I was taught to keep silent, for I was not worth hearing.

How could I speak when I had trouble speaking?

By the judgments of others I learned, I was not valued,

I was not seen for who I am as a human,

only a body that is not measuring to the expectations

others so gallantly exalted to what is true, noble, right,

or what can help them feel better about themselves.

How sad I am finally knowing what silence is now.

My own silence and the silence of others.

The Most Frightening Thing

It is a scary event.

Uncontrolled.  Precariously exalted.


Black                                                                     and                                                                  white.

Throwing in some gray.

The first picture                                       the first scene.

The first act sets up the finale that breaks the soul.

There is no telling the end, only the repetition of the beginning.

Over and over it goes.

The fear of touch, the lack of touch.

Too much,

Touch                                                             in-between.

Skewed does the view come to me at night when sleep escapes                                          me.

But why?

I see my own, and others, and a mix of two people in one.

All intermingling,


three, and more.

The only way I see to get out is down.

The only truth is                                       Nothingness.

The deep.  Inward.  Silent.

The voices are finally leaving,                                                the thoughts no longer rambling.

After the event that played in my head, in my hands, at times, the tears come, but sobs remain, and I keep stringing myself along.

Freedom: what a strange concept.

No one around to hear my screams of peace.

I guess pain shows there is a need within the hole of life…