The Pudding Box

It can be difficult to grow and move past a way of thinking that we’ve been raised with or gained through another person’s actions upon us that caused some form of negative or maybe we could call it, a malnourished way of thinking. And when we encounter a society that has this preset form of characteristics and hallmarks of what a person is and what a person does the person is automatically placed into that and certain stigmas just fall into place and carried over into the rest of their lives.
But there is a way of getting out of this box there is a way out of a mode of thinking that we’ve been taught for generations. I don’t care about the box, I can’t care about the box. I’ve thought about the box too often. It’s the way of getting out of it that’s becoming more important. I’ve been taught about the box my whole life in religion, in society, in work, in education centers. What is important is seeing what is inside us even when we think no one else sees it, they possibly do. Because no matter what we hear it will not seep in because the filter of our hearts and minds are cluttered with brutal ideas and imaginations of what we believe about ourselves and what we’ve been taught about ourselves. This is the stupid box that we corral ourselves in to feel secure from the challenges of life we’ve been given. To mention The Doctor, we’re a planet of pudding brains.
We’ve been given life, breath, talents and abilities and a way of seeing something that no one else has. Regardless of what happens out there, outside of ourselves, what matters is what we allow to be inside of us, what we allow to come in. What we see, hear, feel, taste and smell will always come into our minds and bodies, it makes us aware of the situation but it does not make us a part of it, but that is not what we should be obsessed with. We’re obsessed with preludes and prequels and what ifs and possibilities. This way of thinking actually stifles us. What we should know is our freedom that we keep pressing back inside of ourselves. This is the key. What we allow to stay will either help us grow or foster and infest into a dirty filthy virus that will destroy us and seek to destroy others around us.
I slipped through the cracks of the education system. And society brands those who do as worthless and an annoyance upon society. We’re law breakers, mentally ill, sinful, deadbeats, addicts and whatever idiotic label they have. Unfortunately we’ve carried on that label because that’s what we do. As human beings we unconsciously carry what we know from others. We’re carriers of a label virus and we pass it onto those we can.
So how do we break this virus? This box? This is where it gets harder, and possibly the loneliest. This is a rite of passage that very few get to have, even the people who show themselves to be well kept.
Firstly, instead of seeing these labels and the situation we’re in or the mode of thinking we have to scare us as it rises inside of us which is set off by an outside circumstance, the circumstance is actually a scary passage through dark woods that calls out to us to go in, to see the treasures that are inside of you. But why is it scary? Because only the brave who didn’t know they were brave will rise to the challenge, only those with compassion who didn’t know they were compassionate will reach out. It’s a test and when it calls out to you, it believes in you.
Next way of breaking that box, that negative way of thinking, is to go into the situation and embrace. It is to lay yourself open to the possibility of falling. But that’s okay. Falling is part of nature, part of gravity in the world. Those we look down on you or try to discourage you with words only a pudding brain will think up seek only to destroy you and all you have to do is say no! I will not believe such insane lies about me! You can keep your measly stinking words to yourself pudding brain! No, don’t say that, that’s immature. We’d be just like them. And we’re in a rite of passage that very few have and partake of.
This is a start, a scary start. It’s where I am. Remember, there is hope and love and others out there who are going through the same thing. A band of brothers and sisters, a family.


Mercy Enough

Help me to understand your mercy and grace.
What is this life of struggle and pain,
This path of little and less.
Why is this struggle of confusion
And hardship a path I’ve always had to walk?
Why is this anomaly life you’ve given me
Costing what I do not have? Why I can never gain desires you’ve given?
Lead me not into temptation of comparison, but to value that you’ve given me insight into your heart which very few find:
The pain of humanity, the loneliness of the lost, the blind of the seeing.
We are but a breath. The guilt of temptation,
The lost generation of humanity.
The purposed oversight of sin.

I won’t be around for long.
Soon I will vanish, disappear into the darkness of sleep.
But don’t worry, I’ll be around:
In the winds of gentleness and rage,
Out of the corner of your eye,
In the lost and dying last human that is never seen.
Why do you back away?
Why do you still believe in the best when around you people die inside?

Rare Few

There’s a rare few,
Ever few generations.
They arrive and leave,
A voice they leave, a hand they are.
This rare few leave in early years,
At no discretion of theirs.
Their lives spent well, yet taken young.
Their lives only say, “Wake up before its too late. Arise. Why do you sleep? The world hurts again.”
Can you see them?
Can you hear them?
Maybe not.
These rare few, a voice of the divine.
You stay asleep…


An Awakening?

A few years ago I found out that I was born with a, what I call, a string of tissue, on my heart which caused my heart to go into palpitations, over 200 beats a minute. It messed with the electrical circuitry of the heart. Surprised I never fainted or anything worse. During this time I was undergoing tremendous stress. Over 3 days I was having extreme muscle spasms in my chest. They got so sever I finally went to the emergency room. I was dehydrated. Lesson learned. But it brought to my mind my own condition, which I finally received treatment for. Although at times my heart does a dance, but only a fraction, it is nothing to worry about, it caused in me some searching. There I was 33 years old still struggling to find some adjustment and way to live my life with a tracheotomy that limits me and the problems that I was working through due to the sleep apnea. It hit me, not what have I done, but what do I want to do? When I leave this crazy world, did I leave anything behind? I am full of ideas, passions, thoughts: there must be something in my mixed up world that will help at least one person. After all, there’s not much left.

Christian cage fighting film pitches ‘pastor vs pastor’ | Christian News on Christian Today

Interesting article. Although there seems to be a “feminization” of men, which probably leads to a lack of depth and brotherly bond between men in today’s church,  there has to be a careful way of establishing this connection which is lost. I believe this bond that is lost is one of the reasons for the decline in today’s church.

Eternal Legacy

This seems almost a conundrum, doesn’t it? A legacy is something that is passed on from person to person, the former passing away. But a legacy is to be passed on. But within the Faith, the Legacy is passed on from person to person who decides to be reconciled to God. In this sense we become a part of a heritage that is greater than ourselves, yet unjudgingly calls us. Each person has a choice to become a part of this eternal legacy that others have died for. No, it is not about killing innocent people or forcing them to convert at gunpoint. That is not conversion. That goes against the core message of Christ. What is this eternal legacy?
In Christianity conversion is authentic by the person’s change in behavior to others and held in their faith in God. It is about reconciliation between God and humanity and it is displayed in how we forgive and treat others, and even seek forgiveness. Unfortunately this is almost lost in today’s culture seeping into the faith. So the first characteristic of this legacy is Reconciliation. It is recognizing that God desires for humanity to see that he has given us a way of reconciliation between himself and his creation through Christ.
Persecution is also a part of this legacy. It is the second characteristic. We see this happening ever since the first convert. Even Christ was hated. He said that if you follow me you will be hated, but do not forget that they hated me first. There is a cost to following Christ and this cost is a taking away of the nature of this sinful world and replacing it with the new nature that is not yet fully formed in this life. The change is a taking away of this old one to make ready for the new one. People are naturally afraid of change. I can attest to this. We all can attest to this. This actually leads me to the third characteristic.
The third is we have an enemy who is against the human race. He has no respect or allegiance to any race or culture, to either poor or rich. All he wants is control over humanity and be worshiped. He wanted more than what was given him. This is envy. And this sin is seen all throughout humanity’s history. Fortunately this eternal legacy involves his demise. His power was taken away through the death and resurrection of Christ; this message is to be heralded through all of time and place, and it is heard throughout the spiritual world and even beyond death.
The fourth and last characteristic of this lasting legacy is that it is eternal. It begins and in the end, all placed under Christ who in turn, gives it to the Father. In the end, it is all brought back to him who created, to him who loves and has given his creation free will. This act of love gives us freedom to follow or deny to hate or love. It all comes back to the one who came in the form of human servant, and has given us the power and strength to change the nature of which we are, that we might pass from death to life. To follow this legacy though, we must count the cost. As I said earlier, there is a cost to following Christ, and we must count the cost before following him. In this he said this is your choice. Truthfully, counting the cost is counter cultural! In today’s American culture, let alone the world, we are hard pressed to accept the way things are, just be free, not thinking of the consequences. The freedom of choice is marred more and more by the fact that we have so many choices screaming for our attention, screaming for our wallets and our emotions and time. Simplicity itself is not having little, yet when we realize we have to divorce ourselves from the materialism or false doctrines we do not want. If we can grasp the basic fact that we cannot fully have what we are told we can, or told to desire, and know we cannot gain everything by our own hand, knowing we can only be truly filled by God’s hand, we no longer hear the lazing choices of a world gone mad.